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RaVen
18 February 2007 @ 04:09 am
*sigh* There are things every man wishes he could do or change. Each of us has that trait. Call it what you will. Regret, remorse, inner demons. I prefer sorrow. That feeling of knowing "If I'd only done this, then that wouldn't have happened" or "If I'd had said that then, then this wouldn't be here now." It's four in the morning. I haven't been sleeping well. I'm not sure whats wrong with me. Or maybe I do and I just don't feel like sharing? Yeah. we'll go with that. I'm not the superman I used to be...

There are these things I miss the most
They are the reason for all my ghosts.
They aren't always what they seem
and easily turn a nightmare from a dream.

Sometimes I just wish to fly
Tell everything I know goodbye
Aim for the horizon and never turn back
and in the distance, watch the world fade to black.

To gain that speed, faster than fast
and turn my back on my future and past
Nothing was ever right, nor ever wrong
I'm just a man, searching for somewhere I belong.

I wish that I could cry,
Or find a way to fly.
Just fall upon my knees,
Even heroes have the right to bleed

I do not know what my soul is needing
I'm unsure why my heart is bleeding
I set off to be a great hero,
and ended up a hopeless zero.

Father please forgive me for who I've become
I fear everything I was has been coming undone.
Keep holding on when my brains ticking like a bomb
I see the black dog has come again to get me....


~I had a dream once... and now that dream is gone from me.
 
 
Follow my emotion: restlessrestless
Sing my song: Five for fighting - Superman
 
 
RaVen
15 January 2006 @ 11:26 am
I think Katie and I have learned to compromise as a couple. I promised to be more open with her about what a hopeless romantic I am, She promised to be more open with me about what a sexual freak she is. I gotta say, I am REALLY looking forward to it. But that's personal business. I miss her so much and more and more every day I'm here. I hate this place its too far away from everyone I know. The nearest person I know is In Florida. (Ki Tok) But I'd rather have Katie in my arms, ya know? I've heard a few new songs from Linkin Park's chip off the ol' block: Fort Minor. I gotta get their CD Rising Tied. It's pretty bad ass of what I've heard so far. Other than that there's really nothing new. This place is like college with strict cleaning regulations and no-way out. so Ill be seeing everyone when I get outta here. ESP. you, katie. You're MINE.

~Don't ever make a promise, if you know you can't keep it.
 
 
Follow my emotion: excitedexcited
Sing my song: Remember the name - Fort Minor
 
 
RaVen
26 December 2005 @ 12:43 pm
Well, Boot camp is over now, I've a new tattoo and I'm married. All within half a year! I'm very happy with my decisions in life. My tattoo is the superman symbol on my left arm, my wife is Katie Ann Foister now Katie Ann Hopkins. And of course, I am a U.S. Marine. I enjoy that title. The recruiters assistance over the holidays is a relativly fun job, but I hate that it keeps me away from home all day. oh well. Whenever I find time to or whenever I have reason to, I'll continue to update this journal.

~The skies are grey in the barracks, I know I'm a lousy hero.
 
 
RaVen
13 August 2005 @ 10:45 pm
That strength is for protecting the weak;
-not intimidating them.
That a bike ride is more relaxing than a drive.
That smiles uplift the spirit;
-not just the face.
That Jesus plays poker with the devil.
That 2pac is, in fact, very dead.
That there is no such thing as too much syrup on your pancakes.
That dogs are psychic.
That one should stand up for what they believe in, and beleive firmly, with vigilance.
-even if one is standing alone.
That everyone needs a guardian.
That I am that guardian.
That Jim Carrey will ALWAYS be funny
That Arnold Schwarzenegger will ALWAYS be the Terminator
- Governor Terminator to you.
That everyone deserves a second chance.
-Three is too many.
That the expression "run like hell" is stupid.
-Hell is a place, therefore stationary, so when you are still, you are, in fact, running like hell.
That ALL music has potential, given the right circumstances.

Join me in my nonsense, what do you believe? Make your own. Thanks for the idea Dani-girl. This is my last post as a civilian. Of to the corps I go. Oh, and baby.... I LOVE you!!!

~Fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain.
 
 
Follow my emotion: lovedloved
Sing my song: Juke box hero - Foreigner
 
 
RaVen
05 August 2005 @ 08:12 am
I got about a week left before I start my life in the Marines. And frankly,.. I don't wanna leave. I don't wanna miss Katie that much. I don't wanna miss Kevin, andrew or anyone else. Don't get me wrong, I wanna get it over with, but jeez. I didn't think it'd be that hard to say "I'll see you in a few months" Especially to Katie. I'll always love you baby. No matter what. But, I'm gonna be one of the few and proud. An Elite. She wants to see me on Monday cause it's the last day she has off before I leave. I really wanna go see her, spend the day with her... just hold her, you know? She's something worth living for.

~The change is forever
 
 
Follow my emotion: sadsad
Sing my song: Clint Eastwood - Gorillaz
 
 
 
RaVen
26 July 2005 @ 05:53 am
me?  
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Stability |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Orderliness |||||| 30%
Altruism |||||||||||||| 56%
Interdependence |||| 16%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Mystical |||||||||| 36%
Artistic |||||||||||| 50%
Religious |||||| 30%
Hedonism |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Materialism |||||||||||||| 56%
Narcissism |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Work ethic |||||| 30%
Self absorbed |||||||||||||||| 63%
Conflict seeking |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Need to dominate || 10%
Romantic |||||||||||| 50%
Avoidant |||||| 23%
Anti-authority || 10%
Wealth |||||||||||| 50%
Dependency || 10%
Change averse |||||||||||| 43%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||| 56%
Individuality |||||||||||||| 56%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||| 50%
Physical security |||||||||||||| 56%
Physical Fitness |||||||||||||||||| 77%
Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 63%
Paranoia |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Vanity |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Hypersensitivity |||| 16%
Female cliche || 10%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

It's like, 6:00 in the morning... I'm soooo sleepy.
Basically, this says I'm in love with myself, I dislike being in charge, I like to argue and utilize logic, I'm reliable, calm, relaxed, I don't take things to heart easily, I make friends very well, I like to insult people, and I am Fearless... whatever... zzzzZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzz........

~I'm better than you could ever dream to become.
 
 
Follow my emotion: tiredtired
Sing my song: Don't fear the Reaper - HIM
 
 
RaVen
20 July 2005 @ 03:54 pm
Why do they always send the poor? Barbarisms by Barbaras, With pointed heels. Victorious victories kneel, For brand new spankin' deals. Marching forward hypocratic and Hypnotic computers. You depend on our protection, Yet you feed us lies from the tablecloth. Everybody's goin' to the party have a real good time. Dancin in the desert blowin up the sunshine. La la la la la la la la La! Ooooo! Kneeling roses disappearing into Moses' dry mouth. Breaking into Fort Knox stealing our intentions! Hangers sitting dripped in oil, Crying freedom! Handed into obsoletion, Still you feed us lies from the tablecloth! Everybody's goin' to the party have a real good time. Dancin in the desert blowin up the sunshine. La la la la la la la la La! Ooooo! Everybody's goin' to the party have a real good time. Dancin in the desert blowin up the sunshine. La la la la la la la la La! Ooooo! BLAST OFF! IT'S PARTY TIME! AND WE DON'T LIVE IN A FACIST NATION! BLAST OFF! IT'S PARTY TIME! And where the fuck are you? Where, the fuck, are you? Where, the fuck, are you? Why don't presidents fight the war, Why do they always send the poor? Why don't presidents fight the war? Why do they always send the poor? Why do they always send the poor? Why do they always send the poor? Why do they always send the poor? Kneeling roses disappearing into Moses' dry mouth. Breaking into Fort Knox stealing our intentions! Hangers sitting dripped in oil, Crying freedom! Handed into obsoletion, Still you feed us lies from the tablecloth! Everybody's goin' to the party have a real good time. Dancin in the desert blowin up the sunshine. La la la la la la la la La! Ooooo! Everybody's goin' to the party have a real good time. Dancin in the desert blowin up the sunshine. La la la la la la la la La! Ooooo! Everybody's goin to the party have a real good time, Dancin in the desert blowin up the sun- Where the fuck are you? Where the fuck are you? Why don't presidents fight the war, Why do they always send the poor? Why don't presidents fight the war? Why do they always send the poor? Why do they always send the poor? Why do they always send the poor? Why do they always send the poor? They always send the poor, they always send the POOR!!


Mmmm. I loves me some Cajun Corn. Do you loves you some cajun corn? Spicy stuff and mm mm good. I've been grounded from my car because I've no car insurance. So my car is parked till Katie pays it off. Plus, I can't go anywhere till sunday, which is just peachy. I'm still kicking ass and taking names in my shooter games. Doom 3 is bad ass. I haven't played much except the first level and half the second, i think. It's pretty much a first person Resident Evil. Speaking of Resident Evil I wanna play Outbreak. An online RE. How cool is that? It's only on Gamecube, which suxorz the big one. My brother, DaV's got a Gamecube. Speaking of him, he's moving in with me at the end of the month, I think, either when I leave or at the end of the month, one of the two. All's well that is well, I'm preparing for the Marines. Learning G.O.'s and C.O.C. I explained to Katie how I wanna be a part of Delta and both her and my mom are like "No!" They think it's gonna make me go crazy or psychotic or whatever. I think it'd be a great challenge to become one of the best of the best of the best. ELITE. I love that! I want that title. ELITE. ELITE. ELITE.

~The Devil exists, I've seen him.
 
 
Follow my emotion: relaxedrelaxed
Sing my song: BYOB - System of a Down
 
 
RaVen
16 July 2005 @ 07:59 pm
A lot has happened since my last post. DEPs today was fun and honorable. We visited the Traveling Vietnam Wall memorial. 50,000+ soldiers names are on that wall, more than half of them were Marines. Many people go their whole lives wondering if they made a difference, Marines don't have that problem. Also, I proposed to my girlfriend, she's going to become Mrs. Hopkins within the next two years. I played and finished Metal Gear Solid 2 within a week, I'm about to start playing Chaos Theory again. I love shooter games. Just this past Thursday DaV, Grant, and I played a Halo 2 tourny at Drakes place. I made 3rd, Grant made 2nd and DaV made 4th. Some guy named Frank beat out Grant for first. I know this: in all the team based games I was the support man, giving cover fire over the heads of my teammates at snipers, tanks, turrets, etc. I defended the flag with the highest of zeal. No-one touched my flag, dammit.

~Aim to Kill
 
 
Follow my emotion: predatorypredatory
Sing my song: Blow me away - breaking benjamin
 
 
RaVen
05 July 2005 @ 10:26 pm
So I've decided. After much contemplation and getting many, many second opinions, that I'm going to marry Katie Ann Foister. Well, I'm at least going to ask. I've many things to look forward to in my future and I want her to be a part of it. With the Marine ship date a month away, and my life ahead of me, I don't want to leave the girl I love behind. So, I'm going to propose, sooner or later. Life hits so fast, ya know. And you don't think you're ready for it until you look into the eyes of the one you love and everything, all the doubts, all the worries, all the fears... they melt away and all you're left with is confidence. Which I have plenty of it as it is anyhow. I love her and I plan on marrying her.

~Father of the four winds fill my sails.
 
 
Follow my emotion: happyhappy
Sing my song: Getting away with Murder - Papa Roach
 
 
RaVen
28 June 2005 @ 10:24 pm
Katie was released from the hospital today on a pain medication and on Doc's orders to take it easy for the next week or so. She's basically pulled her stomach muscles. Her abdominal wall is attached to scar tissue which doesn't give way very well. I know she'll be fine but it sucks to see her in pain. I'm glad it'll be over in a week or two. Other than that, I've bought the players handbook to D&D and have created a character. A level 1 Chaotic Fighter named Talius Backwater. Human. Now all I gotta do is find a good DM and get to gettin. My brother's been letting me borrow alot of games recently Splinter Cell, Road to arms and Area 51 on top of Fable. So I've been having fun. I can't wait to leave in August. Gonna be a JARHEAD. Oh! Speaking of games, all my RP buddies need to gimme a holler sometime. I'm getting rusty, damnit. I've not played in a long time!

~Real people don't exist.
 
 
Follow my emotion: relaxedrelaxed
Sing my song: Got the Life - KoRn